Locked Out of Heaven Read online

  Contents

  Dedication

  Acknowledgements

  Foreword

  ONE: “Listen To the Wind”

  TWO: “A Warrior With No Name”

  THREE: “The Journey Home”

  FOUR: “Star Light…Star Bright”

  FIVE: “The Higher You Climb the Farther You Fall”

  SIX: “What’s In a Name?”

  SEVEN: “Wings”

  EIGHT: “Learning Curve”

  NINE: “Memories In the Wind”

  TEN: “Reunion”

  ELEVEN: “Girl Talk”

  TWELVE: “Hold My Hand”

  THIRTEEN: “The Court of Light”

  FOURTEEN: “The Crown Makes It Real”

  FIFTEEN: “Just Breathe”

  SIXTEEN: “Best of Intentions”

  SEVENTEEN: “The Road To Hell Is Paved…”

  EIGHTEEN: “Where There Is Light There Is Dark”

  NINETEEN: “A Wing and a Prayer”

  TWENTY: “Everyone Needs a Mermaid”

  TWENTY-ONE: “You’ve Got Some Explaining To Do”

  TWENTY-TWO: “You Had Me At: We Shouldn’t Be Doing This...”

  TWENTY-THREE: “Who Said Creating a New Dimension Was Easy?”

  TWENTY-FOUR: “Dimensional Analysis”

  TWENTY-FIVE: “It’s All In How You Say It”

  TWENTY-SIX: “Worship Equals Power”

  TWENTY-SEVEN: “Even A God Bleeds”

  TWENTY-EIGHT: “When the River Turns Red”

  TWENTY-NINE: “Don’t Kill the Messenger”

  THIRTY: “Old Friends”

  THIRTY-ONE: “First There Was Darkness”

  THIRTY-TWO: “Empathy For the Devil”

  THIRTY-THREE: “I Am the Storm”

  THIRTY-FOUR: “Kevah”

  THIRTY-FIVE: "Let There Be… Water? Or Let My Weepers Go"

  EPILOGUE: “We Have One Gigantic Problem...”

  Copyright © 2020 by Danielle M. Orsino | DanielleMOrsino.com

  All rights reserved. This novel is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination and do not depict real persons or events. Any resemblance to actual people or incidents is entirely coincidental. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechan-ical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the Publisher, except where permitted by law.

  Icon Presents Fae and Logic Publishing

  Cover, Interior, eBook Design by The Book Cover Whisperer:

  ProfessionalBookCoverDesign.com

  ISBN: 978-1-7347645-1-2 eBook

  ISBN: 978-1-7347645-2-9 Paperback

  ISBN: 978-1-7347645-0-5 Hardcover

  Printed in the United States of America

  FIRST EDITION

  Dedication

  To all of the freethinkers and anyone who was told they had a vivid imagination, were too dramatic or flamboyant. Never be ashamed of who you are. You never know where it will take you or the worlds you will create. Believe in yourself. I never said it was easy, but it is so much more fun.

  Acknowledgements

  To my father who never said “you couldn’t” or “you shouldn’t.” Instead he said, “Why not go for it?”

  PMD.

  To Carlos and Penelope for showing me the meaning of unconditional love.

  Carlos, for a nine-pound Yorkie, you have the heart of a dragon and the loyalty of Dragor. My special little guy.

  Penelope, for a twenty-pound Cheweenie, you certainly have the stomach of a dragon and the spirit of Yanka. My heart melts only for you my little one.

  Jenn G.: Remember all those times they called me weird? Hahaha! Okay, I’m still weird, but heck, I have a book now! Thank you for dealing with me and my weirdness all through middle school, high school, and beyond. Best friends till the end. All my love and light.

  Dr. Gil Stanzione, DVM: Thank you for indulging my questions regarding dragons I know I had more than a few doozies. Most of all thank you for keeping my pups happy and healthy. Carlos and Penelope are not your average pups. Thank you.

  Professor Ioannou of Westchester Community College and his students: Thank you for helping me give my dragons their wings.

  PandiiVan: Such a talented artist. I am so grateful to have found you. Thank you for helping give my dragons their colors.

  J.R.: My sister from another mister. Lip gloss, Yorkies, and now the Fae bond us.

  To Clete Barrett Smith: Thank you for smoothing out the bumps as we journeyed into the Veil. I learned so much from you, I look forward to more excursions into the Fae world with you.

  To the Muppets: Yeah, I said the Muppets! Kermit, Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo, Uncle Deadly, Animal, and the entire gang. Thank you for showing me you never outgrow imagination.

  Christopher and Paula: Thank you for believing in me.

  BN: Just think Eli Manning and Football brought us together...and who said Eli couldn’t connect on a long shot!

  Just remember, in the blink of an eye it’s all over. Enjoy the ride. Ignore the trolls. Instead befriend the Hawaiian sasquatch, the mama Rus, comic book geeks, the guy who you would never guess has a good old-fashion left jab, and rays of sunshine who walk into your life. Hopefully you’ll experience it all on the back of an oversized white deer with gilded antlers or an acid-breathing dragon. That is, if you have the balls to take the risk.

  For the readers taking this ride with me: Chaos be with us! You will learn what that means soon enough ;)

  Foreword

  I have never actually been to most of my favorite places.

  But I had some amazing tour guides, anyway.

  Tolkien, Clarke, LeGuin, Lewis, Butler, L’Engle, Martin. So many others. They all took me by the hand and pulled me into the wonderful worlds that they had created.

  Through their words, these creators not only made me feel as if I were physically there, but they also tied me emotionally to these places. They made me care deeply about the residents. They showed me things in these lands that were beautiful and terrible and mysterious and infuriating and miraculous. No wonder I keep going back to visit again and again.

  If you are holding this book, it means that you are lucky enough to have met your new tour guide. Danielle Orsino has built a world that will capture both your heart and your imagination.

  You will become connected to the world of the Fae in ways that you don’t even realize at the moment, and it will be a place that lingers in your memory long after you put the book down.

  I was fortunate enough to be able to work on this story with Danielle as an editor and to have the opportunity to play a very small part in getting this book into your hands. This means that I had a front row seat to watching her create this world. And I can assure you that I have never seen a writer more invested in fully creating a vivid and authentic place. The outlines, diagrams, pictures, maps, notes, and character sketches. After summoning this world into existence through an imaginative force of will, Danielle has scoured every inch of the landscape several times over. Critics often praise a story’s world building by saying that it feels “lived in.” Well, the world of the Fae certainly seems like that because Danielle herself has happily lived there for years as she worked to put all of this together.

  My favorite part of this story is that while it is gloriously depicted in vibrant images . . . it is not going to be easily explained to you. You will have to v
isit the Courts of Light and Dark for yourself, and spend some quality time with the intriguing beings who dwell there, and then make up your own heart and mind concerning which place is better. On which side you belong. But beware: there are no easy answers here. You may find your personal alliances shifting from chapter to chapter. Sometimes even page to page.

  After seeing firsthand the enormous creative effort that Danielle poured into this endeavor, and also getting a chance to visit myself, I am so excited that this story is finally out in the world and ready to be enjoyed by readers.

  So get ready. Pack up your bags and allow your new tour guide to take you by the hand and lead you into an intriguing new world.

  And the best part? When Orsino has you riding on the back of one of her dragons, the view of your new favorite place is going be spectacular.

  ~Clete Barrett Smith

  Author and mentor extraordinaire

  ONE:

  “Listen To the Wind”

  “Do you know what the wind sounds like? I mean, really sounds like. Stop, take a deep breath, close your eyes for a second, and try to listen. Do not imagine it. Do not think about how it should sound when it howls across the plains or whistles through the tree branches on a cold winter’s morning. Just be for a moment. See if you can pay attention to it.” She tipped her chin to the sky, crimson hair billowing behind her, emphasizing her defiant stance.

  She stood on top of the highest mountain she could reach without the help of her wings, which had proven to be a monumental task. She had sought to be as close as possible to the sky. Whether He answered her or not was no longer the point. She wanted Him to hear her. She had much to say to her absentee father. Creator or not, He was going to hear her.

  “Of course, You won’t. Why would You? After all, You invented it,” the figure taunted with true disdain coating each word. “You never listened to anyone or anything. You may have heard me a few times, but You didn’t listen. That’s Your problem.”

  “Let me explain. The wind has its own language. A unique dialect that is audible when your wings carry you above the clouds. In the moment, you can listen and comprehend the wind because you are one with it. I speak its language. I know every delicious facet of air. As you pick up speed, the airstream echoes like the ocean crashing onto the shore. However, before you land, the blustery gusts sound like the crackling of a roaring fire. When you climb into the atmosphere…if you close your eyes, the wind hums and quakes like the earth. The elements meld together in a symphony. Earth, Air, Fire, and Water become raw power—I was power. Just as you ascend as high as you think you can on a current of raw power and bathe yourself in the morning sunlight, ribbons of sunshine enveloping your body, the wind can whisper into your ear with a soft caress. A stroke like the softest kiss from the cherubs themselves.”

  She glanced away. Her eyes softened and her mouth turned up ever so slightly as tranquility set in fond remembrance. Deep down she hoped in this moment of recollection He might answer her. The air was now eerily silent and still. Her hair fell to her back. She closed her eyes and let out a sigh. He would never give her the satisfaction of a response, so she gradually opened her eyes. Her expectations disintegrated in the cool mountain air. Gone was the angel who had been hurt and sad, looking for her Father’s attention. Here stood a creature poised and demanding answers. The ground shook under her feet as she stepped forward, the icy crust of the snow crunching with each placement of her foot. She watched the clouds pass overhead with a fire in her gaze, and the determination to be heard.

  “Listening to the wind, being one with its power, allowing myself to fly, feel free and be loved by it. I paid attention to the wind and I felt those intoxicating emotions because I was power. An angel. Your Virtue! A Shining One You made to protect nature. You gave me power over the elements. Earth was my domain. I watched over and nurtured her. Just as You asked. I served you well, my Father.”

  The tears came. She had promised she would not break, but as she made her case, the wall of emotions strained under the stress of her confession. The tears burned as they traced down her face. She only allowed a few to fall. The cold air mixed with the warm, salty water, forming small webs of crystals as the breeze caressed against her face. It was as if her old companion was trying to soothe her.

  “In the blink of the cosmos, I was no longer a Virtue. I fell from grace and I don’t know why!” Her eyes searched the heavens. “You changed the rules in the middle of the game. I didn’t join Lucifer, nor did I commit a sin. It appears I did something much worse. I did nothing.” Her voice trailed off into a whisper.

  A sharp inhalation helped gather her resolve. She sneered as she spoke, her intonation louder than it had just been. “Did I spend too much time as the wind?” Her voice ricocheted through the mountains, rumbling enough to cause an avalanche. It was strangled and hoarse from the feelings she had suppressed for weeks.

  “When the Archangels and their Power Brigade launched their attack against Lucifer, the other Virtues and I were too busy doing our jobs, getting the earth ready for Your new pets to acknowledge what was happening. So, You punished us? You never trained us to fight! That was the Power Brigade’s job! You closed the gates, cutting us off from the Shining Kingdom’s Glory. All to teach us a lesson? I guess the adage ‘if you aren’t with us, you’re against us’ seemed apropos in Your eyes. This is how You treat Your children? One mistake and we are cast aside?”

  She paused, waited, hoped. Nothing happened. The anger boiled up again, rage spilling out.

  “Answer me!” she screamed into the mountain air, falling to her knees in the snow and ice. All her body felt was fury. The heat kept the ice at bay. The battle against her tears was lost. Even if it was a one-sided conversation, she couldn’t stop now, and once the floodgates opened there was no way to cease the deluge.

  “No amount of pleading, crying, or praying made You notice us. We no longer existed in the kingdom’s eyes. The almighty Glory, disintegrated like a castle made of sand, washed away by a small wave.” A dry, bitter laugh fell from her lips. “The silence was the worst part. The sweet blissful melody raining down from above was hushed, and the world, it became so still.”

  She wrapped her arms around herself. Just remembering those first few days brought a chill to her bones all over again. As her rage waned, the hurt settled in. Points of the granite and limestone beneath the snow cut into her knees. Their chilly edges digging in brought her out of her head and grounded her to the present.

  “We were so forlorn for Your love, for the first time in—I can’t even remember how long, the Virtues agreed on a plan. Your insistence on ranks and seniority kept us divided, but desperate times call for desperate measures.” She shrugged and slapped her hands to her sides, rubbing her legs as she strengthened her resolve to finish.

  “We gathered on a beach—a place where the earth and sky met—to feel closer to You. We gazed upon the bright azure water, sparkling as if thousands of gemstones hid under the currents. The white sand of the shoreline glistened when the sun shone upon it like stars had dusted the earth. The sky, a sapphire blue hue streaked in yellow, orange, vermillion, and lavender, caressed the water at the horizon, creating the perfect backdrop. Standing in Your moment of flawlessness, we were optimistic, gazing upon magnificence. How could we not be?”

  She picked up a handful of cold snow and watched it fall in much the way she had played with the white sands of the beach on that day. The breeze took the white powder into the air, reminding her she was far from those warm shores. Focusing back on that moment on the beach, her mouth tightened and her eyes squinted as she struggled to keep the sadness at bay.

  “A warm breeze carried a faint salty musk, pure in its own right. There was a balance to all of it, earth, water, air, and the fiery sun as it made its way above the horizon.” Lifting her eyes to the sun, she let the warmth caress her face as a fleeting smile crossed her lips at the memory o
f how beautiful that morning was.

  “We thought perhaps this was just a misunderstanding and we only needed You to listen to us.” A hearty chuckle rolled from her as she placed her right hand over her mouth to stifle it. “Looking back, it seems so trite to think You had perhaps made a mistake, and much less You would admit to it. But we were despondent. I remember watching the sunrise as we held hands. We prayed and hoped all our voices together would somehow open the gates. We sang, our voices carried on the wind, and we listened for a response. We watched and waited. We remained on the beach for what felt like an eternity, but signs about the truth of our predicament took hold.” Her shoulders relaxed, her face held no malice. Her eyes were soft and unfocused. Unshed tears glittered in the sunshine.

  “Our wings felt the effects first. They began to wilt. A few feathers fell and we noticed the discolorations in our veins, crawling insidiously in our plumage like black snakes delivering their venom. The thick lines marred our symbols of angelic status, displaying the signs of true decay. When the corrosion set in, the panic took root along with the pain.” Her bottom lip quivered as she relayed her account into the ether.

  “We all dealt with this in our own way. As Virtues we knew Your rules for taking one’s own life. You gave us life, therefore You had authority over it. We have no souls. If we kill ourselves we don’t return to the Shining Kingdom. We cease to exist. A cruel joke if you ask me, but You never asked. However, many still felt death would stop the searing pain encompassing our bodies and minds. I did not begrudge those who chose Oblivion. We went from having a purpose as high-ranking Virtue Angels to being nothing. From bathing in Glory to being plunged into darkness. I understood why Oblivion appeared to be the sweet tincture to the sickness. I did not judge—unlike You.” Irritation seeping in made her body rigid. She chewed on her bottom lip. She had come close to making the choice more than once.

  “Some of the Virtues retreated to parts unknown. Others used the last of their Glory to shed their wings before the decay finished taking them. A few chose a different path, using the last bit of Glory to bind themselves with the flora and fauna they had vowed to protect. The remaining Virtues shrunk to the size of insects in hopes of escaping Your eyes should You ever return.” She shook her head.